Goten Gets A Date
by TotalAnnhilation
Summary: Goten has a crush, except he has no idea how to get her. So he asks his family and friends for help. But can they really help? Rated PG-13 for slight cursing.


Goten Gets a Date

One day at Goten and Trunks' school, the boys were walking to their lockers talking about their usual pointless stuff.

Goten: But Trunks! There is no way you could have done that!

Trunks: Ok, tell my why I couldn't have killed my teacher?

Goten: Trunks first of all, how can you go Super Saiyan without anyone noticing?

Trunks: Well you can ask Jimmy! He knows!

Goten: You mean the twitchy Jimmy who is always saying "There ain't nuthin wrong wit me!"

Trunks: No! I mean the cool Jimmy in our English class!

Goten: Ooooooh, alright!

Trunks:  Anyway, Mr. Patterson was really making me mad right, saying I never do my homework-

Goten: Uh... but you never _do_ your homework.

Trunks: That isn't the point! Anyway... so I got so sick of it and went Super Saiyan and punched him through his fat gut!

*Meanwhile Mr. Patterson walks by*

Mr. Patterson: Hello boys. Trunks, you should be in the principal's office! I told you I would not tolerate your arrogant attitude and horse play in my class!br

Trunks: Uh... right, where was I going? *Sweat bead drops*

Goten: Didn't you say you ki-

Trunks: Right, to the office I go! *Sprints off*

Goten: Uh... Ok *bumps into someone* Oof! Sorry! *Starts to get up* Here let me he-

*Goten sees a girl who he ran into, he freezes and stares*

Lauren: No, it was my fault. *Grabs hold of his hand to pull herself up instantly making Goten's face turn red*

Goten: Uh... I- I- I- I- I- I- I-

Lauren: *giggles* You're funny, what's your name?

Goten: Uh... *mumbles*

Lauren: Umm... ok well my name is Lauren, I geuss I'll see you around.

*Lauren walks away as Goten stands there blankly still mumbling*

Goten: It's Goten! Hey! Where'd you go? *Goten walks to the office*

*Trunks is heard yelling loudly*

Trunks: Hey! It isn't my fault he was being a jerk!

*Suddenly a guy in a hover car with a yellow capsule corp. jacket walks into the office*

Vegeta: Boy! What is this I hear about you in trouble again!?

Trunks: Aaaaah dad!

Vegeta: You! Principal! What did he do?

Principal: Uh... well sir, your boy was mouthing off to the teacher and apparently messing around.

Trunks: Uh... oh...

Vegeta: Why you!!!!! Get in the hover car now!

Trunks: *whining* But da-ad!

Vegeta: NOW OR I WILL BREAK YOUR ARM!

Trunks: But it hurt too much last time!!!

Vegeta: THEN GET IN THE CAR YOU WHINY LITTLE BRAT!

*Trunks walks outside sadly*

Vegeta: *ahem* I promise you it will be dealt with... a day of the Burning Knives in the Gravity Chamber should be enough... *walks out muttering*

Goten: ...Wow, geuss that means me and Trunks won't be able to play tonight. *starts to fly home*

*Goten arrives at home and goes to find his dad*

Goten: Uh… dad?

Goku: Yes son?

Goten: Today, I bumped into a girl, and I started to feel all tingly inside.

Goku: *laughs* Ahhhh yes son… your finally beginning to experience love.

Goten: Love?

Goku: Yes son, it is when a guy and a girl want to spend the rest of their lives' together.

Goten: Ooooh. Well I am not sure if she likes me.

Goku: Son, listen to me. Whenever a girl says yes, it means no. When a girl says no, she really means yes. Keep that in mind when you talk to her!

Goten: Hmmm… alright.

*The next day at school Goten runs into Trunks*

Goten: Trunks! What happened to you!

Trunks: *has a bunch of bandages and bruises* Well… my dad sort of punished me.

Goten: Ouch… was it worse than the stinging tenderizing hammer?

Trunks: Well… that still doesn't hurt afterwords… but this still keep hurting.

Goten: Ok, well I geuss we have to get to class.

Trunks: All right… *limps to his next class*

Goten: *walks  cheerfully and humming*

Lauren: Hey!

Goten: *gulp* Uh… h-h-h-h-h-h-h-

Lauren: Think you can tell me you're name now?

Goten: Well I… ummm… my name… erm…

Lauren: *giggles* Today?

Goten: Uh, it's Goten!

Lauren: Oh, nice name!

Goten: You like my name?

Lauren: Yeah, it's unique.

Goten: (thinking) Wait… if yes means no and no means yes…

Lauren: So, how is it going?

Goten: I don't know, but I think Lauren is a dumb name too.

Lauren: What?

Goten: Nevermind… would you like to meet me somewhere tonight?

Lauren: Yeah! I don't have much homework!

Goten: Oh… I see… well-

*The bell rings*

Lauren: Uh oh, bye! *runs off*

Goten: *sniff* LAUREN DOESN'T LIKE ME!!!!!! *cries and flies through the ceiling to the next class. As a janitor walks by seeing him*

Janitor: Aw, damnit! Stupid ass kids flying off making holes in the roof! *mumbles on while walking away*

*Goten goes on flying to his house. Gohan is there in his bed*

Gohan: *aaaachoo* Mom? Is that you?

Goten: …it's only me Gohan! And stop faking sick!

Gohan: Eh, it worked didn't it? Anyway, you sound mad! What's wrong?

Goten: *sniff* A girl I like haaaaates me!!!!!

Gohan: Uh, what makes you think that?

Goten: Well first she was sarc-ast-ta-tic and said she liked my name! And then she said she said (high pitched girly voice) "Yeah. I hardly have any homework!" (normal voice) When I asked her if she wanted to play with me tonight!

Gohan: …and that means she hates you?

Goten: Yeah! Because dad said no means yes and yes means no!!!!

Gohan: Ok, romantically… dad is a moron!

Goten: Don't say daddy is a moron!

Gohan: Ok, he is romantically retarded.

Goten: Romantic-lic-ally  retarded?

Gohan: Anyway, don't take advice from him. I got all the answers!

Goten: Really Gohan!?

Gohan: Uh… sure! I am like the pimp at my school!

Goten: What is a pimp?

Gohan: …anyway how do you think I swooned Videl?

Goten: By being a moron and showing he you're powers so you could train her?

Gohan: No! It was my charming good looks and pick up lines thank you very much!

Goten: Oooooh, so I should try these pick up lines. Mom says I am cute already!

Gohan: Sure you are, we work on your hair after I give you some pick up lines.

Goten: Awesome!

*Meanwhile the next day at school, Goten walks in with a leather jacket, and a gold 1 Star Dragonball necklace with shades and combed back hair*

Goten: Yooooo! Trunks my *looks at arm* brotha! Wha- *looks at arm* Whaz shakin!

Trunks: Uh… Goten… you look like a fool!

Goten: That's all- I mean *looks at arm* Ah-iggit!

Trunks: Sure… I am gonna go away now…

Goten: Sure, *looks at arm* my ho- *squints* mo!

*Trunks sprints away as people laugh and Goten walks to Lauren's locker which he found by stalking her at the end of school…*

Goten: Yo sweet hunnie! Waz shakin!?

Lauren: Uh… what did you do to my hair?

Goten: Come on babe, you don't like my dew?

Lauren: *cocks an eyebrow* Dew?

Goten: Hey hunnie buns, are your legs tired, cus you have been runnin through my mind all day long!

Lauren: Uh… no they aren't actually…

Goten: Oh well, come on *looks at arm* sexy! Let's jam at the mall!

Lauren: Jam? How do you jam? Is it a dance?

Goten: Come on, don't be a square! Just come and hang wit me baby!

Lauren: Ummm… ok I will hang… over there… away from you…

*Goten watches as Lauren leaves and turns around to the group of guys behind him*

Goten: Uh… hi my *looks at arm* home slices!

Boy: Dude, you are being a retard!

Goten: Yoooo don't hate, appreciate!

Boy 2: Appreciate my foot up your ass!

Goten: Uh oh… *flies off as the janitor comes by again*

Janitor: I just put duct tape over that hole you punk!!!!! Stupid children…

*Meanwhile when Goten gets home*

Gohan: Aa-aa-aa-ahchoo!

Chi Chi: Awwww Gohan… let me make you some more rice soup special!

Gohan: *cough cough* I would mom but ummm… *lies limp*

Chi Chi: Geuss he fell asleep…

Goten: Hi mom…

Chi Chi: GOTEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF SCHOOL! AND WHY ARE YOU IN THOSE HOOD CLOTHES!?

Goten: Well Gohan gave them to me… *Gohan coughs loudly in the background* and I am depressed on account of Lauren hating me.

Chi Chi: You mean a _giiiiirl_?

Goten: Yes mama.

Chi Chi: Son, girls is the devil! I am the onliest woman in your life!

Goten: But mom…

Chi Chi: No buts! Little girls are the devil!!!! And I don't want you hanging around that Lauren enchantress!

Goten: Yes mama… *walks to his room*

Trunks: *bangs on the window* Hey Goten!

Goten: *opens the window* Hey! You're not grounded anymore?

Trunks: …No my dad just thinks he is firing Renzoku Energy Dan at me… I love that hologram.

Goten: Uh, right. Trunks? Have you ever been in love?

Trunks: Yeah. I have 7 and a half girl friends now!

Goten: …7 and a half?

Trunks: Did I stutter? Alright come with me when school is starting, I will get you hooked up with the babes.

Goten: Awesome!

*Meanwhile the next day at school*

Trunks: Alright Goten, I will tell you what to say through this little transceiver.

Goten: Uh… ok. But what if something happens to it?

Trunks: Then you are in deep crap.

Goten: Ooooooh, alright!

Trunks: (over transceiver) *feedback* Goten! Are you there?

Goten: Aaaah, yes I am here I am here!

Trunks: *slaps Goten upside the head* You aren't supposed to talk back! She'll think you are weird then!

Goten: Ooooh alright!

Trunks: Now, look at a few of the note cards I gave you to make a good entrance.

Goten: Sure, thanks Trunks!

Trunks: Yeah… now go *shoves him forward*

Goten: *while reading the cards, he is backing up* Go up behind her and grab her a- *bumps into someone and drops the cards*

Lauren: Ow. Oh, hey Goten.

Goten: Uh… h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-

Trunks: (over transceiver) Say, hey Lauren, you are looking nice today!

Goten: Uh… Hey Lauren, you are looking nice today!

Lauren: Why thank you Goten, let me help you pick up those cards.

Goten: Wait! Lauren I can-

Lauren: *looking at the cards* Walk up to her and kiss her with passion? Moonwalk by her locker, close it and say Sup you sexy bi-

Goten: *snatches them away from her* Ahahahaha, where did those come from!?

Lauren: Alright… well anyway how are you?

Goten: I am feelin-

Trunks: (over transceiver) Say, I am feelin as good as you look.

Goten: As good as you look.

Lauren: Awww, your so sweet! *hugs Goten*

Goten: *blushes* I-I-I-I-I-

Trunks: (over transceiver) Get off me!

Goten: Get off me!

Lauren: Huh?

Trunks: (over transceiver) Yeah, you heard what I said! Get away from me!

Goten: Ummm, yeah you hear what I said? Get… away… from me?

Lauren: Goten… I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to the mall with me…

Trunks: (over transceiver) Hey! I'll die if you take me there!

Goten: Hey! I'll die if you take me there!

Lauren: *sniff* Goten!

*Suddenly there is a big explosion and Mr. Patterson screams, and Goten gets shocked by the transceiver)

Goten: Ooooo aaaaaaah ooooooow!!!!!!! *falls over*

Lauren: Goten are you ok!?

Goten: *grabs the transceiver and throws it away* Lauren, I like you! I really, really like you! I want to go out with you! I have been taking advice from my dad, my brother, and my best friend! But that made things worse! So I am gonna do this my way!!!!!

Lauren: …wow.

Goten: So… would you like to go to the mall with me?

Lauren: Sure Goten!

*Goten and Lauren go by the office while leaving the school*

Trunks: No! Please don't call my dad! Not again!

Principal: You killed your teacher you delinquent! And your father will definitely hear all this!

Trunks: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

*The principal calls Vegeta and the phone explodes. Vegeta comes flying into the school*

Vegeta: Boy! You are dead!!!!!!

Trunks: Dad… calm down!

*Goten and Lauren look at eachother*

Goten: Ummm… wanna go now?

Lauren: Good idea.

*Goten and Lauren walk away*

Vegeta: You! Principal! What did he do!?

Principal: Well, this time he ki-

*Vegeta blows the pricipal's head off*

Vegeta: Your next boy!!!!!!!!

Trunks: Uh… I can explain… *sprints off*

Vegeta: You stupid boy! *flies through the roof and powers up a Final Flash at the school*

Trunks: Uh… oh…

Vegeta: FIIIIIIINAL!!!!!!!! FLAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!! *fires it destroying the whole school*

*The janitor drives up in his pick-up truck to the parking lot*

Janitor: GOD DAMNIT! THIS IS GONNA TAKE A TON OF DUCT TAPE TO FIX!!!!

*Vegeta flies down to the rubble and picks up Trunks by the throat*

Trunks: *moans* da-dad…

Vegeta: If you thought that hurt! Wait until you get home! The pit of lasers will be your welcoming!

Trunks: *cries*

*Vegeta flies away with trunks*

*Meanwhile at Goten's home after his date*

Goten: *sigh* Love is great…

Goku: Well hello son! How are you?

Goten: Great… so great…

Goku: That is good, guessing you had a fun time with your little girl friend then!

Goten: Yeah… it was sweet…

Goku: Alright then, it's about time we had the talk…

Goten: What talk?

Goku: Just listen!

*1 hour later*

Goku: And that is it!

Goten: *stares wide eyed at him*

Goku: Now go to bed.

Goten: *keeps staring*

Goku: *ahem* Goten your room… go to bed!

*Goten goes as Chi Chi walks in*

Chi Chi: Goku, did you do it?

Goku: But Chi Chi, I don't like lieing to him.

Chi Chi: It was the only way… now he won't be interested in that enchantress.

Goku: I geuss so…

*The next day*

Goten: *still has that wide eyed stare*

Chi Chi: Go-ten time to wake up!

Gohan: Ooooh, mom I don't feel so good!

Chi Chi: *sigh* That flu, slash, stomach cramp, slash, head cold, slash, diarrhea, slash, mono, slash, worms is taking it's time going away.

Gohan: Oh yeah, it is horrible! I will just be in my bed!

Chi Chi: Hmmm, ok.

*Doorbell rings*

Chi Chi: Goten, get the door!

*Goten gets up with the same wide eyed stare on his face and opens the door*

Lauren: Hi Goten!

Goten: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!! *slams the door and runs to his bed and hides under it*

Chi Chi: *rubs hands together* Hehehe… all went according to plans!

~The End~


End file.
